Lets see.. how am feeling?

These past three days have taken a toll on my body am so exhausted but i feel great from a day of work done. Today again i worked on my break and didnt eat. i did triple times the work then i was suppose to my feet are swollen and hurting. my arms are tired with cuts from hooked rods and i smell like duck weed that fill the pond and that i remove from fishing poles man am i tired.

I've been going to sleep during the day or go to bed early. Also i keep sleeping where ever i go out with friends i guess i just need more rest!. This morning i was feeling a bit of pain at my abdomen from when one of the guys that touch me there yesterday. And today my friend brought her boyfriend who very tall and does free running and did a back flip which was cool.

Am a little upset that my ex im me last night( but its my fault for not telling him what am doing) and told me how many days he has left. It only me made me sad and hurt a little more. I would of prefer it if he didnt remind me and maybe contact me till after he's there i dunno.

I feel so conflicted now because i want to have a bf( just to get rid of the lonely feeling) but more then ever i cant trust guys now and my heart still hurt is afraid of loving anyone. i feel so mess up but am just trying to concentrate at the task at hand and that is to work, do good and support my self.

Also i realize every time i hang or meet up with guys i always bring my best friend cam or any female friend. I realize am really afraid to be around guys let alone my self that there has to be a large distance between me and them or some one there that a female.