The Creep (feat. Nicki Minaj)

Now Playing - Grooveshark

Now Playing - Grooveshark Love this :3

Hit the Road Jack, Don't cha Come back no More No more

https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=d2c2c535e8&view=pt&q=whore&qs=true&search=query&th=12c5f0c5bbd6b36f (copy & paste)


(this Link contains my Texts saved to my email automatically, meaning it can not be alter or re-written)<--- As promise from my previous post i was would go deeper on about my little squabble with an ex-friend of mine. Even though there were more, that part been put to rest. But before i go in , i need to remind you, as i stated in my previous posted that i sent out a Mass text message chain to my friends. The mass Text was originally sent to me from My friend Ish who dare me to ask all my male friends " what any question they would like to ask me no matter how dirty, private or sexy or crazy it may be?"( Oh As to why you couldn't see that text in the link was it was Mass text so it was to more then one person making it in its separate message inbox) and me ...being curious i guess ask alot of my male friends of course many replies were ask to "go out with them or if am still single" for many and other were just simple questions. But the Two Replies that didnt sit well with me was My-Ex Friend and Ex boyfriend (His Reply was if i still have feelings for him? Of Course i was quick to say no but i panicked and took a little longer and Wrote i dont love him but i miss hanging out with him ...YES I AM A IDIOT!!!)of course my text didn't end well.

But getting back to the main topic the reply from my Ex-friend was "Why are you a dumb abusive attention needing whore?" From that i was hurt but thought it was a sarcastic joke like he usually make. And Well I reply back "I learned from the best" ( meaning i was yes joking about my mom) but his next reply really gotten me upset. I didn't know how to respond to it i was so shocked and hurt and the same time i was texting my ex boyfriend and he was announcing how he need to make sure i had no feelings for him since he dating and it would be awkward when am around them to which i wasn't planning on meeting him on his return to newyork.

I was Crying and Furious from the texts but more with Andrez messages. all i can think was maybe he's going through something so let him off some steam but i was wrong he was just throwing low blows like my mom. I was Pissed , how could he do such a thing. I threw out the idea of ever trying to work it out or talk it out with him after that. From the text i felt violated and all i could think of how wrong and false he was and i have no friends to trust!. Immediately i question the three most close friends i had who knew more about me then him. To all which reply No, and had no discussion about me with him.
I used my better judgment and believe but inside i couldn't trust anyone. I went in to paranoia and Avoided Communicating with my friends, i Even cut off a good friend who was mutual with my ex because i felt he could turn on me any moment since am so vulnerable. I had no body i could lend a ear so i got physically sick and lock my self in my room 24/7. Of course my mom didn't care it not like its affecting her so why should she care.

Then one day my friend jin and Erica came by they were worried and had plan to go to the gym by my house. i couldn't show them that i was avoiding them or i was feeling weak. I put on a face and said ill get out the house and go to the gym with them. I thought maybe i could get some fresh air after surrounding my self with sickness and depressing thoughts. I don't know how but when i got to the gym my Trainer got concern with me and wanted to train me in private. I saw that he was trying to get me to talk and honestly i didn't care what i say since i kept it in and its not like he knew who my friends are by name. i felt a little better i guess and then he had me do kick boxing to let my aggression out through my body and not words. During the moments of hitting the pads i felt both physically and emotionally better. It was a Big release for me. After the training my trainer gave me his ear if i ever need it and advise me on some remedies to feel better.But when i got home i felt sick again, but just physically. I got better in 2 weeks though i struggle catching up with my classes. So that all i let out for now.

I am still struggle trusting my friends but i hope to overcome and pick better friends. Since then I never Talked to him nor will i ever plan to, after all the years since we been friends i never thought he could do that. I guess a person can hold on a mask and remove it when they feel your no longer use to them.

well my Fellow readers am Done with this story and moving on to the next later. Love ya and Green

Happy New Year and Update!

soooo...! its a new year , So happy New year to my Invisible readers and hoping you guys make some great changes this year and i have new experiences to share. For one Currently am having a non-official relationship with someone. I don't know what it is about this guy but he's definitely different. I feel un-attach while getting what i want. For people they would call it friends with benefit but i don't see it to be that or in that category since a lot more is involve. He's magically made me forget all stress and problem in my life and i don't understand it. Am so happy and can deal with anything and not feel the repercussion from it. Its bothers me how i end up in it since i kept advocating Being Single and celibacy no matter how miserable and slightly alone i felt.

I can keep going on about this great mystery but i have other updates to put out. Anyway, i past my math finally but sadly fail my FS class ( i guess i put all my effort and focus on the math that i didn't try my best in this class) Since ive taken this fall semester off i plan to change my grade to make it look...pretty... i guess. And while i wont be attending my college i despise and has ruin my life i will be trying to get in to a dental assistance profession program so i may earn and save and have an paid internship to help smooth out the bumps in my life. On another note My relationship with my mom is still on the same level, arguments and fights then moving on. The same cycle that never ends between me and her but i could care less because am goal forward this year and my main objective is moving out? and starting over?.

Other then that i could do better....and speaking of college ruining life, i found out the balance in loans i owe is 30000 :/ sounds painful when you know your going to be paying for the rest of your life. Changing topics for Christmas i got a bayonetta game from Camille ( i got her lords and Taylor Pjs day after), best gift ever! i've played that game so much i still manage to suck be good even though i've beaten it 5 times lol you would think after the 5th time the game would become easier for you. Oh yeah on a sad note am no-longer best friends with my Ex-buddy Andrez apparently on a past and unresolved issue he felt doing low blows like my mom would be what i deserve for being his friend. On another post ill post up the text convo that lead to a bitter ending. Despite my new hate for him i still love his daughter and can only wish the best for his family. To add salt to the wound the same day i was texting him i was also texting my Awkward Ex ( Who i finally gotten over but still make me feel like shit but not knowing it)While in a furious text battle with my Ex-Best friend ; My Ex-Boy friend was announcing his his vacation-Return to new york to which i sent out a chain text to all my male Friends in my phonebook and to his replies( there was more) it only to left me feeling aggravated and pissed. <----oh and that along with being sick push me in to the arms of someone new in the time when i was cutting everyone off but that another post to go on about.

How is life now? its not at its best but it is enjoyable now. Only walls are male friends who want to leave the friend zone and get with me and being un-employed.



Lets see what else...school-check, Love? interest-Check, Friends- Semi-Check,Mother Daughter relationship - Ehh and Stress- No complaints life -Contented Technology- Well i could use a new laptop and more xbox360 games and probably a portable Drive that's like 4gigs of space. Anime- its slowly getting better, Comic - less devotion and God- I just keep on praying...... Oh How could i forget the most important thing ..... Guess what....I have Two beautiful 3 Month old Niece and nephew who can put a small on anyone's face and i go to the gym like everyday and do kick boxing so Yay for me but i noticed since i went to the gym i've been gaining weight and eating more then usual don"t know if its the training or the winter( yea probably this) but i need to step up now. ok So am outta Here! ....Oh yea yes my cat is still alive and spazzing.

Green Me and Skeet lol