What am i doing?, what do i look for? many answers for my self i don't get why find your self if you can create one? won't that give you the power or a gift your proud of doing.? Green me!!!

some lyrics came across how i feel sometimes these past times.

UB 40- don't break my heart

You shoot me down in flames
you put me down a lot

I'm giving you my heart
go on
take it.
Please be careful not to break it
just remember:
It's the only one I've got
it's the only one I've got.
Don't break my heart - don't break my heart -
don't break my heart.

You make me laugh a lot and buy me silly things.
And I'd rather be with you than anyone else.
But if you make me mad
but if you make me mad

You'll wish that you had not
you'll wish that you had not.
Don't break my heart - don't break my heart -
don't break my heart.

Where are the roses and whispered sighs?
Where are the compliments and dreaming eyes?
It doesn't matter you see
I know you love me;
Real basic love never dies.
Don't break my heart - don't break my heart -
don't break my heart.

Where are the roses and whispered sighs? . . .
Don't break my heart - don't break my heart -
don't break my heart

another song

from toni braxton


"Un-break My Heart"

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life
Un-cry this tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my

Un-break my heart oh baby
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on....

thats all i want to post for now

What's there to understand?

Hey guys i know i haven't wrote in a while it just its hard for me to put my thoughts in to words. but i do know one thing. i want to be far, its not that i want to avoid my problems, and believe me i try head it face on but i just don't know how my mind and body can handle the bricks that hit it. I know I can push my self but i just give in to the feeling that running away or masking things to help. i want to make things invisible so i know i wont be able to see them. I see myself in certain people and I try to give them hope but if i know that i cant see that anymore i know that i lost my self. I find stuff about my self and things i know am repeating but.....i just happen to fall back in to it like a comfort zone. oh god i feel like am breaking its i dunno any more then to follow any trail i take. I have strong instincts but i make weak acts. why do i surrender to a whim to keep my self happy? does that me am forcing someone against there will even if its nothing in danger but of my heart?. I see myself, strong,pretty and smart but then i made it a purpose for me to push my self towards that. but other times it feel that i make no effort and i fall of the ladder. I realize the more i hope for the better the worst gets to me first. i try to keep a smile when worst things happen to me and I know deep down my body lies to me, my mind hides things for me to forget and i can put on an actress role to know if i can fake it, i might get through with it but i also know that i can't take it. I have a universal mind i try to think as everyone then my self but i just can't be them. I always told my self just go with the flow or give up.

What is life to me? i don't really care anymore..GREEN ME!!!

...........

I have no comment on today.....am so serious

Hows my day, Whats yours?

Well guys today was another school week. man i groan of the feeling of my school only to fear embarrassment and being lost. But i do like my crazy friends and most of them perverted .........well actually all of them but hey what can i say there a freak in all of us. Then there was my daily three class a Day. First with English starts at 9:45 (i made it at 9:48) of course my stuck up teacher dont take late for nothing. Then Spanish with a moody teacher( even if she bitchy to me i still got respect for her)and gym( though am very active i hate the students there besides one but he just like to get on my damn nerves so i can kick his ass everyday) then i got my id card pic retaken it wasnt pretty look like i got busted for DWI so i ask to use my old pic ( i look like i was was a 70's fro chick). Then i did the unthinkable i went to my boyfriend house , he was in the shower so i just walk in and slept in his bed till he came out and watch tv with his cousin. while i was in the bed he was being mean making me chase candy( i forgot to mention under all this brain am very very VERY childish person)just when i had the candy in my reach he swatted it like a fly and it flew to some unknown area. He felt bad so he gave me another candy (yay me ^.^)mmmmm caramel. anyway we was watching so shows and when i look at him; he seem so different to me like a stranger, like someone i dont know about and it kinda scare me to be close to him. i let him know and he understand, he thinks that he always scary but i dont. then i got comfortable so he made me sit with him.....my bad diddnt mean to go there lmao got lost in my thoughts while being hyper on sugary green tea..yes i said green tea i told you ......or not that i have addiction to the color but the tea is on a separate case. i think i'll end here and add more later Green Me!!!.

A new beginning?

well guys dont laugh or get upset but my boyfriend learn what he did wrong and wants me back. Now you know i have confuse and deep pain. Your thinking you should go back that it he cross the mark or go back to him you wouldn't want to be alone it will be so harsh. so i took it to my self that i need one answer to determine my decision and that was " do you regret what you did?" now as doubtful as i think i think he would say no because he plan this from the start so i can be stronger but joyfully i was surprise that he regret ever breaking up with me and hurting but not hoping good will come out of this. in my thoughts i know he was wrong but he didn't know better so i told my self this broken heart is having the second chance for happiness. but i not coming back so easily am still wounded but ill take my time. wish me luck. Green me!!!

Heavy heart

You might think am over doing but after yesterday my heart felt nothing more then pain and sorrow. I had trouble sleeping because of chest pain and shortness of breathing. Then i remember the last person who broke my heart i was mesirable for months. I could stop thinking should i go back to him or not. He says that our friendship will last but am not to sure about that am so hurt thinkiing about that person makes me feel awful then good how it use to be. I rememeber how he said he was no hero after i told him how he my sun. Now i think he a vilgel-anti( anti hero) or villain. Why break up with someone if you know how it feels to break up with you? your just passing the pain that you once have or have you forgotten?.

i was thinking of a song that describe my mood and it pains me to think of the song he loves me to sing on rock band 2.

No Doubt- Don't Speak

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?
(this is the part where he plays the guitar beautifully at its max)

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying
So please stop explaining

Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts



And then I search up breaking a pisces heart, just to see if my feelings relate or something like that.

Pisces people are sensitive. They get hurt so easily. But they don't hold grudges. When they forgive, they forget. They are not capable of hurting others or if they do, they also feel their pain. They are very deep and moody, sometimes you can't understand why. They are also secretive, they don't want others to know what they're feeling; they keep it to themselves. They are loyal and true; if they say they love you, believe it with all your heart.- annabelle b

Pisces are very emotional. They will be loyal until you unexpectedly pull the rug out from under them and hurt them emotionally they will swim away in another direction.- gipper

well im a female pisces n all i can say is i am v.loyal n will hold on long after many others would have given up...BUT that should not b taken as an indication of weakness. we r loyal because we put our all into a relationship. However if some1 crosses the line with us that is it...we will put up with so much but then the day We have had enough is the day you have lost us 4ever! we wont even want 2b friends with that person who hurt us so much n we become Ice Cold towards them. nothing any1 says or does will change our minds! The End... hope that helps- sam

these were taken from yahoo anwsers on if you break a pisces heart will they come back to you.

Like the March winds, your Pisces girl will have many a mood. She's terribly sentimental, and when her feelings are wounded she can cry buckets. She'll look at you so re­proachfully you'll feel as if you'd just shot a small rabbit. Pisces females sometimes get the idea they're hopelessly unequipped for the fierce battles and driving ambition re­quired to survive. Then deep depression sets in. At these times you'll have to tell her she's admired for her deep, mysterious wisdom and her blessed understanding by every single human she has ever graced with her friendship. It's usually the gospel truth. The hardest lesson she has to learn is to overcome her timidity and her doubts. If the fears go deep, she'll shut herself off from others, then wonder why she's lonely. She's often afraid of imposing, pushing too hard, taking advantage, when such thoughts are in no one's head but hers. - women pisces blog

I would like some other Pisceans advice on how they deal with the end of a long-term relationship? I have come out of a 4-year relationship and after 5 months after the fact just when I thought I was getting over it, I remember things I loved about him/memories (probably a piscean thing) and still miss him like crazy to the point where I feel like I cannot give my heart to somebody else even if I wanted to. How do other Pisceans deal with it? and what works?- mermaid goddess

taken from single piceans.com


Reading really show a connection to myself and makes me wonder alot. Its amazing how people can read you like a book but yet they can't feel you unless they experince it for them selves.

Green Me!!!

FML Three (to be cont.)

Great day to have your boyfriend break up with you and not understand you, your old friend wanting to commit suicide because of her abusive boyfriend and your mother to be very sick only to forget her medicine at the counter at a close 24/7 CVS store oh not to mention a confuse best friend who love and hate my male pal who has a girlfriend he doesn't love with his buddy feeling pressure from him to lose his virginity and to the girl that love him want him to lose his virginity to him also have my other best friend worry about her relationship to her boyfriend with a controlling family and my mother who feels i dont do much to help her in anyway while knowing that when i go to school am failing Spanish and reading a confusing book for English and laggin in my mathematical skills and having an old friend feel am not trusting because the day i wen tot the doctor and they gave me the gas i slip to a friend on the phone about her being pregnant and noticing her boyfriend another old friend give me ingorning vibes while his best friend who i compete for the title of green tutoring me in math for a SAT In Two weeks time to find out am slow in math and that i suck. Best part yet i got my encouraging grandma preventing me from leaving my mother and a ex-alcoholic uncle still drink once in awhile.With the fact that am worrying about getting in college since my applications were delay and i cant get a job. Wow my life is like so F***king amazing. Green me!!!

FML Twice

Words in my life could never explain i feel or went through.
Why does it have to be hard to explain to people about my self or to get them to understand. but then you see only yourself can know this feelings so why you cant share it with others. In life obstacles are put out for you to take down but then why cant you go around it? He see's what i go through and kinda gets what am saying but yet he just doesnt get what am coming from or wha am trying to tell him.

In existentialism the answers are beyond death but when i think that what are the answers i yearn for. i try to look past the neagativity or my life but i felt that it pulls me in to place. What is true happiness? he said only when you find your self and true happiness i'll come back to you but that make no sense since in life happiness comes with a price and when that price is given up whats there left then happinss.

am doing an experiment to vent out my toughts online i have but always miss the oppounity to vent or say what i want and could never say it again.