Life Is so torn

Life is hard and i know that we have to live past the troubles and move on. I am a worry freak, i worry about so many things that it brings stress on me. I know that obstacles are not made for us to stand and watch. I am also a jealous and self person. I can't stand the feeling of being replace or have something taken away from me. It makes me depress and ashamed. These are the bad persona i have and i know i want to conquer them or else i may never grow as a person. Now lately my emotions are feeling mix and torn and i decide to look for that new someone. But afraid that i wont be hurt the person that's hurt he will.

Now on a side note I am still in love with my EX and kinda do wish i could be with him but am not looking to hold on to something that may hurt more if i dont cut my self from old bonds. So maybe or sooner i will go in to the dating scene. Its actually a advice from my EX(to some who thinks he pushing me away that not true)he just wants me to be happy and not dwell on the past. Now i know i maybe rushing it but i can't lose opporunity as i did before so many times.

So who ever i maybe dating i dont want my past feeling to affect you so ill put in 80% in this relationship and try to work my way up. I will be deeply thankful if you can take away my pain and keep my spirits up. I know that think of the future a lot which keeps me held back and meeting disappointments so if you can keep my head in the presents i know that my worries will be gone. And if you can keep my simple rules i know you'll have me in your arms 1. keep me comfortable , if you don't check on what were doing i may drift apart, 2. Make me laugh, its the most important thing to me and keeps me out of the hell i've been, 3. respect my feelings, if u can try to understand them or listen i'll do the same, 4. push me, if you feel i need to do something. help me do it,5. reassurance, am a worry wort so i get doubtfully and depress, so by be there and reassurance i have nothing to worry about and last but not least 6. be your self and stay fit, i love a person who has a weird and special charm to them plus if your healthy it will help me to stay active and be healthy my self . thats all i ask for may sound a bit much but if you can try and do it then we got something good going on. oh and i may want to warn you i maybe a needy person so .... that base on what you choose. If you keep a open commuication with me then i believe no troubles will be in our way and keep me occupy.

i sound so silly writing that out but i hope me and my ex remain great friends and we triumph anything in our own way. I hope you can hold on to your promise as i will.

Oh i forgot one last thing what ever you Don't ever hurt my feelings because i'll will be be one hurt person it will be like you shot a rabbit just a reminder lol.

Green me and wish me luck