The big blow pt.2

well it still hurt but am fighting the pain. I try to hide anything that reminds me of him so it wont break me down. He sent me a text message on having a good day but i kinda doubt that. Am trying to fight the depression so i don't let it get to me to much. sometimes i think that my problems would still have affected us still if our relationship develop more anyway. I don't regret being with him the 1 year and 2 months i think there were the best thing my life ever offer. So now i have more time on my hands and i guess am single. I don't plan to date because i dont want to get attach or anything. One of my old best friends got worry about me he felt bad to what happen so it was hard to reassure him that i was ok. I remember when he told me yesterday that am free but i was confuse because i dont feel free and i know i wasn't being held against my will? maybe thats how he felt to let go the chain of love/responsibility that's held him down this long? am not sorry for thinking he needs to find some one who's in his boundaries. I still thank god i met him but i guess god has bigger plans for me. Am sure when he moves that all weight has been lifted and he no longer worries for my welfare. I just hope i can do the same. Am not crying as much because i know i can over come it. But i can still feel the stings of my words when i told him" I want that( he'd said he come back for me after college" but i dont want you to come back to the same problems( i doubt i can overcome that) and so... i want you to continue with a successful future so when you come back don't come back 4 me( am going to be that wieght u had be4)" as heart felt it was i know that deep down am contradicting myself greater. I know i can never user the words i love you and luv like i did with him. But who knows what happen i only look at the present so wish me luck and that i get back my beautiful green spirits.

Green me!!!( it means give me strength of the power in life) words are wisdom as knowledge is the fact.

P.s. Thank you isaac for everything i never doubted you or us.