How i feel today?

I feel stupid , low and frustrated and humiliated...( i just know that i fall for anything, hurt myself, keep making mistakes, make my self awkward, and worry about what people think of me).Oh well just need to keep pushing my self to a better future if only the pain and sickness would go. I don't how to be a friend or why i bother if am not treated like one, then there's the things that keep digging up my buried feelings and the seeping feeling of loneliness not to mention feeling like am getting to close to someone that kinda makes me afriad of how i see people and how i might hurt them. Sigh life is crap but you got to get the shovel and clean the mess before it gets out of hand. I need to keep it together or else i would feel i need to do with out friends who are important to me.