Emotions, Recaps and Life Events

Well lets see i feel stress i didnt get in brooklyn college and have to go through a process of BMCC for a year and transfer to brooklyn college. I guess having to be pushed and expect made me for get the "what if" factor. Let's just hope i can do this. Support Please!!!

Am Conflicting emotionally on how much i should open up to a close friend. Though am opening up a step at a time i still feel that am not getting the same in return. I want to be fully open and i want to know alot but sometimes am not sure anymore. Am i doing it again and opening up to a stone. sometimes i feel they just want to hear the dark side and the light side is just for show ...i need to stop thinking.Maybe i should question? my trust if i feel its lost to that person. P.s. Really how open should i be?

There been love(s) flying in the air and i don't feel i should be part of it(s). There to much problems and expectations to deal with. the dating scene(s) is still something thats distant to me.

I've defeated depression now all i need to do is "manage Stress".

I have sorta a plan future but am scared if i can really live up to it. Push me people!!!

I learn I have some really awesome friends but i need to still take some things in to consideration. And watch what to listen and say.

I learn to be more direct to a person then saying to the side. I mean how can you know the truth if you don't ask?.

I lost a friend due to the fact that she see's me as a threat in her relationship and i can never see why. I mean am not a home wrecker but i guess i can't have my bro to support me if his wife hates me.

I have a friend in danger. He's been receiving death threats and got jump a day before. He's been afraid to go to school and not really much can be done he said.

I think i turn my daughter Evil lol...just IM me on aim(cekococo) if you want to see why.

My best friend is having low self esteem but am willing to do anything to push her to the top. I just wish she could stop envying me and being jealous i see no point in that.

Even though my mom is backing off me i know i need to keep my guard up.

My bedroom ceiling is leaking again and still has a hole from the first time it leak which was 3 months ago -.-.

I love that i get to talk to my Sisters , Brothers and niece and nephew. I learn something new and a stronger bond. I feel my puzzle has found its "peace".

Graduation is coming up and so is anxiety.

I realize i had stop coming to counselling but i dunno i feel more to tell less then more.

I lost alot of weight yay went form a 149 to a 130 but i also see i haven't really been eating well since and its difficult to eat now :(.

I realize I have a passion to Be actively and when it comes to physically fighting am stubborn and Very strong will to get what i want physically. so what i learn is if am being strong i can feel strong that leads to me thinking strong :)now i just need to figure how to do it separately.

Lately I've been feeling scared but i don't know what , all i know is its something big!. Something tugging at me. Sigh only times will tell and i hope am prepare for it.

I still hate the fact that i can't have what i want or enjoy much of. Sucks XP

Bullet humminton died in the line of duty so R.I.P (inside thing sorta joke)

I've been having way to much time to myself. Its quite boring and stressing not to have my mind occupy and hanging with people i love.

My old fear is coming back and cause me to do set backs. Oh boy!

I took a quiz on face book which got me piss off but was completely true lol.
Here's the results for the guy i fall - The Jerk - For some reason you love a boy who mistreats you, you love a bad boy! You think it's sexy when all the women want him, but only you can get him. You don't mind his jerk-like qualities because he makes up for it here and there by being the sexy beast that he is.

Out of all my friends am the only one that got that T.T and looking back at past relationships its true.

Sometimes i feel like I don't know what i want or giving up.

i have a passion to realize my Aggression through marital arts lol Man beater title might come up again lol shhhhh.

I think am being to Sexually open and maybe i should hold back depending on the people lol but i guess its the jokes that counts lol.

I had a amazing prom i felt out of my box i hope to do something like that again or hang with a bunch people i don't know well at some weird location. But then i kinda hated my prom i end up thing of something's that i shouldn't and shed a some tears life is not the same if your gonna think back sigh.

Lately I've been Enjoying the Xbox Parties i have invaded my home its been bring alot of people to my home and create company which i need for my lonely self.

I have a friend who now caged her self and now i see that to have problems having and a relationship is not the best thing. She kinda gets me upset cause its like am helping you but your making excuses and creating set backs. And camile is at wits end with it.

Last but not least I've been Glad to met some Amazing people in my life. Thank god for Pms dude. :)

My new song is panic Attack by dream theater and Beautiful Lie by 30 seconds to mars :)

Now its My track to my dream life yay

P.s. I forgot i feel like am wearing different faces i dunno it makes me feel uncomfortable lately.