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May 4,2009- post help you to achieve success. Do not count on others to help you -- you can only trust in your own strength. Although you may feel vulnerable right now.

April 22, 2009-

ok am going to write a list of things i need to do in my life if i can fully grow as a person

1. get a job- now i work but its usually internships that don't pay and volunteer work, i need to learn the responseibilty of a working class person( thanks to some great friends with there help i am able to get applications not i just need to try and do them....)-(edit) Still in progress And Postponed due to college

2.get a state ID- i want to get the license to drive and feel a bit grown up, lol i wanna drive around town with my friends-(edit)Got it now i just need a permit [fail the test twice :(]

3.look for a college and get accpeted- now i havent heard from any college and am a little worry but i just hope i can make it in to one and finally improve my education and find what i want to do in life, maybe i should do physicology and maybe medical technolgy or an social service but am afraid my emotions would get in to my work so maybe an enviornmental or political enviornmentalist-(edit) well i got in to college...but didnt get to pick a major so its in progress.

4.FIND A DORM OR AN APARTMENT AND MOVE OUT- now i know this may seem am moving to fast but being in my home is as stressful then breaking up. I need to women up and get out beside i like living for mmy self but food maybe a problem.-(edit)Postponed and i give my self till next 2 years to get out...food is still a issue!

5.find a hobby that would keep me active- i want to do kick boxing or muy thai or shadowkon , have alot of agression i want to vent using my body.-(edit) ugh! postponed i got friends who know this stuff and i still havent set up the time to do it with them >.<

6.go all out- i want to try crazy (legal) stuff because i know that life is only young once-(edit)...i give my self till next 3 years

7.Face fear- i want to face my mom and address our problem that we had so long and if she can't listen then she wont hear from me again.-(edit)its a waste of my time talking to that women so its just silence now.

8.graduitiude- i want to treat out my friends who stand by me in supportiveness and kindness-(edit) Honestly i fail at this but i can try again

9.meeting up with the past- i want to search for my long lost sister, i want to see the person who go seperated from me during my foster care years, it feels i need to gain my connect of my family.-(edit) Success and completed, whats cool about this is not only did i found her but i found out i got another sister and a older brother AND a niece and two nefews what a shock.

10.travel- i want to go to japan first and travel the world-(edit) postponed and i think japan will be third after i visit korean and germany.

11.being confident- i want to do something great in people lives what ever it may be-(edit)FAIL - i guess ill try again

12.spilurge -i want to go all out shopping-(edit)postponed until i get a job.

13.changing habits- i want to turn someone life around-(edit) i highly doubt this since it back fired so amma try again and postponed this

14.nationality- i want to gain a huge diversity of friends-(edit)well am starting to get friends from different places so its in progress

15. religously- keep going to church and pray and maybe one day do a missionary work-(edit)We'll see if i can do this, am starting to have second thoughts but i wouldnt mind volunteering.

16.Comapion- i want to get a pet any species but not spiders eeek lol-(edit) Success! i have a Cat name Sue and you can say shes like me. But i want another pet hoping for a puppy or iguana.

17.make wrong right- i want to confront anyone i did wrong and make a new beginning-(edit)fail, it only end up in silence so amma try again in the future hopefully , i give my self next year to do that.

18.stand up for your right- i want to keep being a activist of peace and hope for a better future-(edit) doing a project at y school that have a similar goal so its semi-check

19. be on tv or in a maginzine- i want to show any special talent that i have to the world or milliions of people and maybe conquer my fear of stage frieght.-(edit)I highly doubt that since i still despise being in front of people but doesnt hurt to look forward in the future.

20.try gymnastic- i use to be flexiable and still is a little but when i was small i wanted to do this so hopefully i do a class like this or yoga.-(edit) postponed when i get a exercise partner then you"ll see.

21.this should be at the top/taking chances- I want to be able to respond more quickly and grab what ever opporunity jumps like the movie yes man lol-(edit) i took one chance it wasn"t bad even thought i didnt get it , i held my head up and smile like a champ. I'll be waiting for more in progress.

22.marriage- i want to finally settle down and be happy with who ever i maybe with and have kids independently or not.-(edit) am not sure if i want to or be in a relationship :(.

23.party- go clubbling a little or a concert.-(edit) in progress I miss my first chance to go to a club so maybe next time i'll get the chance.

24.cosplay- iwant to cosplay and go to all kinds of anime conventions.-(edit)fail, but i keep trying even though it seems far in my life time!

25.donations- i want to donate 1,000 dollars to an organization of a good cause.-(edit) thats in the future so its postponed

26.underground trend- i want to be a hacker,inventor, steam punk and be a sexy geek.-(edit)....yeah probably in the next 3 yrs maybe?

well thats it for now i might update later and hopefully i can follow through with this.