I feel Like Shit

i dont know how to write it,
how to describe it
it is what i mean but not how you think.
Am sorry to any one who i may offend,
break down or plain wrong blasted.
i cant seem to hold back on my emotions or release my mind.
i dont have that power or will to go on
i want to run , to go to the farest end and scream at the top of my lungs,
i want to to drink and feel that waves of emotions mellow and mix together
my mind slowly calming and my mouth letting any words come out,
i want to be in a fortress of solitude like superman, only i knw where it is and no one can ever reach there
i want to push my body to the limit and let it collasp for oxygen
and the sweat cool me down and my brain throbbing and heat takes over my body
i want the music so loud that everything drawns out and only the lyrics speak to me and the beat of the music move me to my dreams
i want to cry in the shower like i always do and feel that wave of relief
i want to laugh , and forget who i was for a second
....but i can't always have what i want just something to settle for,
you know?