How can you stop the bleeding?

Note- am menstruating and moody and i got upset from somethings i heard today

How can you stop the pain if it comes from your own "friend". It makes you a great friend to take a bullet for them but does it makes u the same taking a bullet from them?
you do it to your self and so am i. There so many terrible things i want to say but i wont cuz its not me so i soak in all that negativity and breath out the positively forgetting that the toxins stay in my body.

i feel torn between two emotions. trust and anger and i dont knw which comes first. i dont know how to tell you stop or to remember our agreement. I want to scream shut but i want to show that am here for you. I took it in just for the benefit of being a friend, a person to remain in your life. what the fuck am i doing. i should of listen to everybody,
and make u invisible but i couldnt do it , it hurted to much( you were my first) and then u kept pullin me in to your game( watch you catch a mouse)
and not care to see what your doing to me.

you don't censored your words on love and you tell and share me the things that i wouldnt want to know about the other sex. honestly i can say it is you that made your self the victim, the puppeteer and confuser.

you want to mess with their minds( innocent or not ) but you end up messing with mine leading in to the same trap. why use the excuse of the past to justify your actions now. why throw away whats was good for a painful trail you'll create. why let me believe in the first place and next test your game on me if your not gonna put in to it.

am not with that, i wont stay loyal, i can't allow it to happen. its uncalled for.
grow up and be a man not a person who destroy lives. I can't break that old bond i have and memories i love. it hurts when u dont care what happens.