More then anything

More then anything you make me want to give up everything

No amount of words can describe my feelings to you something so vile and unbearable can I be near you.

You make me want to give up college and all that's was plan cause honestly I don't know what to do anymore.
I don't know what to become or do with my life anymore.

I have no common sense because I was taught to only listen, have so much agression inside of me thanks to you I physical hurt those close to me and I have no will power or pride cause you took that away from me.

I know longer have my own will or strength to do anything with my life. I Am just a mere puppet for you to control and let others gain hold of.

I can't be my self and I can't please my self. Its always have to be you first and your restriction.
Do you understand the pain and stress you cause? I have no goals that I've created, no guild or motivation to do anything.
Freedom is just a cost to me.
I could care less what happens to me or where I end up honestly.

All I do is obey orders and see where it leads me to.

I could never do the things I wanted to do cause of me being a let down and burden to you.
Am seen as no more then the child who can't do with what others can.

I have no dream, no wish or goal

Am just standing on a cross road and only going where am told.

I lost everything because of you and gain nothing out of the things you push me to.

I don't amount to the things you want or love am just a gate way to your future happiness. I am also your relief letting your anger and frustration on me.

I have no life if I feel I can't live it.

Constantly you make me feel guilty or useless and it like what ever I do its failure to you.

So why do I even bother, why do I even try? It not like its a battle to have when your just gonna win and rub it down.

Remember those times when I was away from home, in another country, at another house.
Have you wonder why I don't call or bother to check?

Its beacause I don't care what happens to you or how your doing? I never feel home sick or think about you, I don't stress about anything of you cause then I feel its my only times when am truly alive. But when am home constantly I worry about you, having to nurse you every time thinking to my self if you were gone will I still be the same. Be hind your back serectly wishing I was a way or a distant child who live with people that actually care.

I grew tired of your constant whines, complaints and negative comment. It only made me wish I wasn't under your care at all and just run away from it all. You made me see why people look down on me. Cause I put up with you and your abuse. Sometimes you make me wish serectly that I would get adopted if you haven't save me from foster care.

You put up a metal wall between me and those who I love to be around and make me feel worthless to anyone. You use material things for me to stay close to you or prove that you done nothing wrong. I hated the fact that I trap my self making my hole deeper then it is and ignore the advices of those who worry or care about my welfare.