Ugh!.. I think am emo

Today i feel shitty mostly from my 3 previous posts.
Am still holding on to that rope of hope and push my self to new lenghts.
But i feel some setbacks are catching up with me and i dunno how i can keep up holding on to that rope.

was alone for church today and worst yet all my friends there graduated or move to another church so it get sad there. My mom was like why didn't you invite your ex before he go and i got annoyed when she does that i think she just trying to prove a point or something and still blame me for the break up which was like how long , i wish she just drop it.

I realize the reason of why i didnt like working and its because my pay checks are never to stay for me to save but to go to my mom bills and my debts from her sigh!
whats the point of me working if i can't keep the money this always happen to me!.

on the side note my friend boyfriend is going to teach me free running while his girlfriend is just gonna learn back flips. i think thats great because i always love and wanted to do acrobats and marital arts.

which reminds me if i do mange to save money i can maybe use it to do shadowkan marital arts and kick boxing for self defense and fun :) maybe i can get in the sport of it lol.

yay i stop crying!!! its been 5 nights in a row. i didnt know how i can go through the day with out tears but i mange and leave it at home.

ohhh let me put up a list of songs i've been listening to alot all week. In a way they show how i feel alot lately if you notice the lyrics or titles.
Artist/Band - Song Title

Adele - hometown glory( high contrast Remix & original)

Alice In Chains - Man In The Box

30 seconds to mars - Attack, Beautiful Lie, The Kill, Capircorn

Amy Winehouse - Back To Black

Beyonce - Beautiful Nightmare(first mix), Sweet dreams, broken Hearted girl, Why don't you Love me, Hello, Radio, Save the Hero, Scared of lonely, Smash Into you

Kayne West - BitterSweet, Stronger, I wonder, Love knock down

Panic! at the disco - Boys will Be boys, I write sin not Tragedies, Nine In The Afternoon, There's a reason why those table are numbered honey.you just don't notice them

My Chemical Romance - Cemetery Drive, Early Sunset Over Monroeville, Famous last words, The Ghost Of You, Jack the Ripper, Kill All Your Friends, Its not a fashion statement its a death wish, Vampires wont hurt you, Thank you For The Venom, This Is How I Disappear, The End

Daft Punk - harder.better.faster.stronger, Something About Us

Faith no more - Epic

Avenged Sevenfold - GunSlinger, Seize the Day

Ian Van Dahl - I can't let you go, Just a girl looking for a heart beat

Omarion - Ice Box

RadioHead - Creep

Keri Hilson - Knock You Down

Dream Threater - Panic Attack

Sound Garden - Black Hole Sun

Vanilla Sky - Umbrella

Coheed And Cambria - Welcome Home

Bob Sinclair - World Hold On